If Only...

My blog is worth $564.54.
How much is your blog worth?

Think we can receive this in small, unmarked bills?

Bitty gives new meaning to the phrase, 'I'm so tired I could fall asleep standing up.' 

Name That Quote

Bitty's newest achievement is memorizing lines from books and movies then repeating them at the oddest times. Which makes for a fun game for Mama and Daddy as we try and guess where he's learned the latest little gem.

On the way to Mass this morning: (Hint, it's from a book.) "Don't ever, EVER dig holes under this fence!"

At dinner last night: "I never thought I'd see the day when an ant put himself ahead of the colony."

And when it's not lines from a movie or a book, he's repeating what he's learned from his relatives:
"Grandpa says, 'Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey!'"
"Aunt Mary says, 'Uh-oh, SpaghettiOs!'"

So watch what you say around Bitty. It may be repeated time and time again. (As Mama learned the hard way when she dropped a glass bottle of salad dressing on her foot -- her broken while dancing thus ending her dancing career arthritic left foot -- thankfully it was only the 'bad darn-it' word and not something much worse!)

As Bitty would say, "Mama, Daddy and Bitty... that's our family!" 

Bitty trying not to get spat upon by the camels at the Renaissance festival.

Out Of the Mouth of Bitty

Aunt Mary: "Bitty, can you tell me where water comes from?"
Bitty: (Without missing a beat) "The fridge."

All aboard! Bittyman and his Thomas the Trains. 

Mensa for Toddlers?

DISCLAIMER ~ The following entry is filled with Mommy bragging. If you have a problem with reading about how amazing my kid is, well, then get your own blog and brag away about your little genius.

My dear friend Kristen recently wrote in her Mommy Blog that it is just not mathematically possible for EVERY child to be a genius.

That being said, mine is. (And so are Kristen's two children. Seriously.)

This was a conversation Bitty and I had yesterday after shopping at the Wild Oats grocery store:

Bitty: (Spying some outdoor tables) "Mama, let's sit down and relax and eat our treat."
Mama: "Well, OK. Go pick out a table."
Bitty: (After a bite of his muffin and sip of his juice) "Mmm, that's good. So, Mama, did you have a nice day?"
Mama: (laughing) "Why yes, Bitty, I'm having a nice day. How about you?"
Bitty: "Yes, I'm having a good day. Maybe after our treat we can go to (name of city where Daddy works) and listen to the jazz band?"
Mama: Well, no, not today. We'll be going to see Daddy play later this week with your Aunt and Uncle.
Bitty: "I want to go play trumpet in the jazz band. When I get bigger go to work and I'll play trumpet."

After that I wasn't really listening because I was thinking to myself, 'what toddler has conversations like this?' Keep in mind, Bitty is only 28 months old. And he's been conversing like this for the past few months.

If he's not monologing about his career plans, then he's singing. Entire songs, in tune. Of course there is the obvious Wheels on the Bus and Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes. But that's so 6 months ago. Over the summer his repertoire expanded to include Hail to the Redskins (even the tricky middle part that most die-hard Skins fans mumble through), Celiene Dion's version of All By Myself (Mama is a big Celiene fan), and most of the Backyardigans greatest hits. And if that isn't musically masterful enough, Bitty will take a standard tune, say Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and improvise his own song about whatever he's doing at that moment. I know professional singers who can't improvise lyrics on the spot.

I just want this all recorded for posterity so if Bitty brings home a 'C' grade in high school and tries to justify it by saying he isn't smart enough to get an 'A', I'll pull up this entry and remind him that he was a baby genius -- so he best get crackin on the books because I know he can do better!

I know it's not even October, but...

Bitty INSISTED on trying on the Halloween costume that he INSISTED Mama buy him during our trip to Target this afternoon. Mama gently pushed for the lion or even the Dash (Incredibles) costume, but Bitty wouldn't hear of it. He wanted to dress up like his 'Mr. Kitty'.

Redskins 14, Cowgirls 13

HAIL TO THE REDSKINS! HAIL VICTORY! BRAVES ON THE WARPATH! FIGHT FOR ALL DC!

The last time the Washington Redskins beat the Dallas Cowboys in Dallas, I was a young, single, chick singer performing on a cruise ship. Yep, it was THAT long ago.

Needless to say, Bitty's family is EXTREMELY excited about tonight's come from behind victory over the dreaded cowgirls. (Although Bitty had the audacity to fall asleep on Mamma's lap during the 4th quarter, forcing both her and Daddy to do quite a bit of silent screaming!)

Good thing we have the game recorded on Tivo so I can show Bitty what he missed. For Redskins fans, this victory was our Superbowl!

Sleeping Bitty and Kitty 

More Ways to Help

Do you have a bag of gently used clothing that you've been meaning to take to your local Goodwill? Box it up and send it to Society of St. Vincent de Paul, Houston, TX instead.

Many families of soldiers serving overseas have now been displaced. Soldiers Angels - Operation Katrina Soldiers Relief Fund is helping those military families.

And for Bitty's fellow Cheeseheads, the Brett Favre Fourward Foundation is taking donations to help children devastated by the hurricane in Brett's home state of Mississippi.

Prayers

Bitty Man, Mama, and Daddy are all storming heaven with prayers for those affected by hurricane Katrina.

We're also making a donation to Catholic Charities. Other worthy charities:
American Red Cross
Salvation Army

Blog readers may be interested the Instapundit Blog for Relief where you will find links to dozens of other charities supporting the relief efforts in the Gulf Coast. For news and commentary, check out Michelle Malkin and Times-Picayune Breaking News Weblog.

Pray, give, pray, and give some more.

Daddy and Bitty Man Four-Eyes. (Let's hope Bitty has Mama's eyesight instead of Daddy's!) 

Bitty's favorite things: Little People and cars! (With Thomas the Train a close third.) 

Big Mistake, Costco... HUGE!

Recently, the main topic of discussion at playgroup has been Costco's decision to stop carrying Pampers brand diapers and instead carry the *new* Costco/Kirkland brand of diapers. All of playgroup is in agreement that Kirkland just doesn't cover the mustard, so to speak.

I gave Kirkland a try, I really did. I bought a box a month ago but within 2 days of use realized they ain't no Pampers. Half the stickie tabs wouldn't stick and there were more leaks than Karl Rove's office.

So we begrudgingly bought a box of Huggies, the other brand Costco still carries. And I quickly remembered why we stopped buying Huggies two years ago. Not enough elastic at the legs and too little absorbent padding -- especially where little boys need it most.

Which forced us to do the unthinkable. This past weekend we joined Sam's Club. For one reason and none reason only -- they carry Pampers. $35 membership fee so we can purchase our diaper brand of choice. And we're not the first family from playgroup to jump ship to Sam's Club. I have yet to find one Mommy who likes the Costco brand of diapers.

So, Head Honchos at Costco, each time we go to Sam's Club for diapers is one less trip to Costco that I'll be making. We go through one box of diapers a month. Each trip to buy diapers we inevitably also buy groceries and other household goods totaling at least $100. One less trip a month, times 12 and that's a pretty big annual loss for Costco. Multiply that by all the Mommies who love their Pampers... sure hope your profit margin on those Kirkland diapers is worth it.

Bitty's Favorite Website

National Zoo Panda Cam

The live panda cams provide a window into the world of the National Zoo's new giant panda mother, Mei Xiang. She gave birth to a male cub on July 9. Bitty loves watching the baby panda, as does Mama. (Thanks, Grandma, for the link!)

Random Blogging

• Our heat wave has finally broken... if you call highs in the low 100F's 'broken', which we do after record-breaking highs near 120F. It's still too darn hot to even go to the swimming pool during the afternoon, but at least Mama is no longer having constant headaches and nausea. So I can return to my regularly scheduled blogging.
• Bitty Man is going through a crazy growth spurt. He has grown 2 inches in the past 8 weeks. To put that in perspective, he only grew 1/2 inch from January to May of this year. Which has led to our newest problem -- none of his clothes fit. Everything I purchased in April and that he received for his birthday in May is too small. So the dilemma becomes how much money to spend on new summer clothing that fits, knowing that I've already blown the summer clothing budget and that I'll be needing to buy fall clothes soon. (OK, fall comes to these parts around October so maybe not that soon.) Methinks I'll be searching for NWT 3T Boy on eBay.
• Bitty's repertoire now includes 'Hail to the Redskins!'. We've been practicing for the upcoming NFL season -- made even more exciting by the recent purchase of 3 tickets to a Redskins game later this fall! This will be both Bitty AND Mamma's first live 'Skins game!

Last weekend Daddy performed at a jazz festival where Bitty got to try out different instruments at the 'Instrument Petting Zoo'.  

*NOTICE -- THE ADVENTURES OF BITTY MAN HAS BEEN SUSPENDED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE DUE TO EXCESSIVE HEAT. MAMA AND HER KEYBOARD HAVE MELTED. THANK YOU.*

Kissing Cousins

Bitty Man wants to welcome to the world his 12th first-cousin! Emma Jean was born on July 16, back in Cheesehead territory. She is 10 pounds, 5 ounces and 22 inches (reminding Mama how 'bitty' Bitty Man really was at 7 pounds, 1 ounce and 20 inches).

Happy Birthday, Emma Jean!

I'm sorry.

123F.

Seriously. That was the carmometer temperature this afternoon.

I did finally figure out how to change the 'cool car' computer display from the temperature reading to the clock... but it's kinda like driving by an accident. You can't help but look. 116F... 119F... 123F.

I hereby apologize to all my friends and family in Virginia, for all the times I gloated last January when you were under several inches of snow while I enjoyed highs in the 50's. And to those of you in the mid-west, who I teased unmercifully when you were digging out from under a foot of snow while I sported shorts last March, my sincere regrets.

So please, accept my apologies... and make it stop!

Too much knowledge...

It's been a week and I still love my minivan. What did I do before power sliding doors and tailgate? Who knew a 6-CD changer would come in so handy? And I still have half a tank of gas so the MPG isn't that bad...

But there is one feature in my 'cool car' that I could definitely live without. I've decided it's not necessary to have a digital thermometer -- 'cause I really didn't need to know it was 115F this afternoon. I already knew it was hot. Burn your hands on the steering wheel even with the sunshade hot. Feeling dizzy and nauseous because you didn't drink enough H2O hot. National Weather Service excessive heat warning hot. And actually seeing that number blazing in all its neon glory in my car just made it all the more oppressive.

Thank you, Grandma and Grandpa I.! I love my Harley Big Boy Bike! I can ride with Uncle Tony now! 

Remember that bike Bitty Man wanted Grandma to buy for him? Guess who is the proud owner of a Harley Davidson tricycle. 

Time for a revolution!

Why isn't there rioting in the street? Have you people SEEN how expensive gas is?

Yesterday I put gas in our new Town & Country for the first time. 22 gallon tank, multiplied by regular unleaded at $2.34/gallon (Costco price no less) equals WAAAY too much dough! I know it wasn't this bad last week when I filled up the 10-gallon tank of our Nissan Altima, and it was even less the last time I filled up our Mazda protege... at least I don't think so...

This is crazy! $50 to fill up my car with gas? Somebody DO something about this! Can't we drill for oil in Alaska? (Oh, don't whine, Alaskans. It could be worse. The government could be getting ready to store nuclear waste in your state instead.) Can't those Saudis pump out some more crude oil?

But what great timing. Isn't' this what July 4th weekend is all about? My right to drive a gas-guzzling car without breaking the bank?

You know you're a Mommy when...

Bitty Man's new wheels -- Chrysler Town & Country Touring. Or, in Bitty's words, "THE COOL CAR!"

What will it take to get you into this car today?

We are in the process of buying a minivan. And as everyone who has ever purchased a car from a dealership knows, this process ranks right up there with root canals and mammograms on the 'fun' scale.

We test drove a pre-owned 2005 Dodge Grand Caravan last night. (Tag team test drove actually. First Mama took it out for a spin then Daddy since the van wasn't equipped with a Bitty seat.) Decent car (and highly ranked by Consumer Reports) but it wasn't the trim line we wanted so we were only interested if we got a great deal. (Never fall in love with a car or you're putty in the salesperson's hands.)

For 45 minutes we played the pricing game. ("What will it take to get you into this car today?") The entire time, Bitty sat patiently in his seat, eating his raisins and listening to the back and forth volley between Mama, Daddy, and various levels of salesmen.

In the end we didn't buy the car, but were impressed with the dealership and their sales staff. And even more impressed with how well our son behaved. Little did I know he was soaking up knowledge...

This morning, as I was trying to get Bitty ready to go to Costco, the following conversation ensued:

Mama: "C'mon, Bitty. Let's get your shoes on and go to Costco."
Bitty: "No... playing with cars. No Costco. Want to stay here."
Mama: "How about you pick one car out and you can bring it to Costco?"
Bitty: "Bring 5 cars?"
Mama: "No, you can't carry 5 cars. Let's just bring one so we don't loose any of your cars."
Bitty pauses then exclaims: "How 'bout bring 2 cars, and Bitty no screaming tan-trum?"
Mama: "SOLD! One Bitty in the car to Costco for 2 Matchbox cars with no temper-tantrum!"

Next time we're at a dealership, we're letting Bitty do the negotiating for us.

LOOK WHAT I GOT YOU FOR FATHER'S DAY, DADDY! A WHOLE CONTAINER OF SUGAR FROM IHOP!!! 

They Say It's My Birthday

Bitty Man has been singing 'Happy Birthday to You' all morning long. I'm not sure he completely understands that it's Mamma's birthday and not his, since he keeps asking for his presents.

But when I asked him what he got Mama for my birthday, he paused then started bringing me items from around the house. So far I've received:

• An alarm clock
• A decorative pillow
• A CD
• A blanket and
• A sippy cup

Oh, and he said he got me a car. (Too bad it's the one already sitting in the garage -- Mama has her heart set on that 2005 Odyssey!)

Bitty and Uncle Tony, who is in town for a convention. Bitty LOOOVES Uncle Tony and can't wait to see him again soon! 

By Jove, I Think He's Got It!

Conversation between Bitty and I, after watching some teenage boys ride by on their bicycles:

Bitty: "Big boys have big bikes!"
Mama: "Yes, and soon you'll be a big boy and have a bike too."
Bitty: "Bike like Ryan!" (Ryan is his little friend who has a tricycle Bitty likes to ride.)
Mama: "Oh, yeah. I guess you are big enough for a tricycle like Ryan's. Maybe you'll get a tricycle soon."
Bitty: "Grandma get present? Call Grandma get bike present?"
Mama (laughing hysterically): "YEAH! CALL GRANDMA! ASK FOR BIKE PRESENT!"
Bitty: "Ask nice. Say please Grandma."

How smart is this kid?!? Grandma, guess what's on your shopping list next time you're in town!

Because Mama is seldom IN the picture! 

Bitty meets a Klingon at the Star Trek Experience. 

Happy Memorial Day, Bitty Fans!

Bitty in a Basket

Daddy has to work this Memorial Day but we'll be grilling turkey burgers and playing in the pool once Daddy fights through the holiday traffic and gets home. Bitty hopes everyone had a fun and SAFE holiday weekend!

Excuses, Excuses

Sorry, Bitty Man fans. Not doing a bang-up job keeping my blog up-to-date. Been a busy week. Bitty had his well-baby check which went very well. All systems a go. Except he got a Hep A vaccination then had a reaction to it 3 days later. So we spent the weekend trying to bring down a high fever. Hours after the fever finally broke, we discovered 2-year molars are coming in, which are also no fun for Bitty. Add in temperatures over 100F and you've got a tired, cranky family.

Oh, and Daddy has been working 15 hour days the past 2 weeks between sessions in the studio mixing the band's new CD, his daytime gig and an evening gig.

At least our community pool will FINALLY be open on Friday. I see a lot of lazy days at the pool ahead of us.

Too Darn Hot!

100F today so we spent the day at a nearby park that has a water feature. Thankfully our pool opens tomorrow!

A Message from Bitty Man

Thank you, everyone, for making my 2nd birthday so special!

Birthday Wrap-up

My livingroom looks like a Toys R Us clearance aisle. My fridge is sagging under the weight of leftover Chuck E Cheese pizza and Hot Wheels cake. But Bitty had a wonderful birthday weekend, thanks to all of his family and friends who made it so special.

I've been asked to post more birthday pics, but I don't have many to post. I do have 2 hours worth of video if you're in the neighborhood. Just call before you arrive -- I'll have to clear a path in the toys from the front door to the livingroom couch.

BIRTHDAY PRESENT AWARDS:
Funniest Present: DARTH TATER (Mr. Potato head turns to the Dark Side.)
Best Educational Present: LeapFrog Fridge Phonics Magnetic Letter Set (Christopher has mastered all 26 letters in the past 2 days.)
Loudest Present: TIE - 'Elmo Loves You' doll and Musical Drum Set (Both from Grandma and Grandpa I... who are obviously exacting their revenge for my childhood indiscretions!)
Best Present: All the clothes, books, and contributions to Bitty's college fund. (Well, at least the best presents in Mama's opinion. Bitty would beg to differ.)

Birthday celebration part two -- Chuck E Cheese, Bitty and Daddy. 

Birthday Bitty Man and his Hot Wheels cake. 

Spoiled? Nah...

For the record, the only gift from Mommy and Daddy is the Hot Wheels case. (Tickets to Wiggles LIVE was his main present.) The rest of the loot is from Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Godparents and friends.

They say it's your birthday...

Happy Birthday, Bitty Man! I can't believe 'Baby Cheese' is two years old today.

I wish I had the energy to post a tender, heartfelt letter to my sweet angel. But it seems only fitting that this time two years ago I was in pain with your contractions and tonight I'm in pain with what I assume is one whopper of a sinus infection brought on by allergies. So in my Benadryl fog I'll just wish you another year of excellent health and a promise that I am always striving to be the best Mama I can be.

(Yeah, yeah, you can finally open all your PRESENTS too!)

I love you, Bitty.

Bragging Post

(Not like I don't do enough bragging already -- but if you're reading this, I can only assume you don't mind the bragging... or you accidentally surfed upon this site when you Googled 'Shark Reef' and won't be staying long anyway.)

AT 24 MONTHS, BITTY CAN:

• Count to 15
• Sing the entire alphabet song (OK, so he sings, 'H, I, J, K, L, doh-doh-doh, P' but he's got the rest including the 'Now I know my A, B, C's' part.)
• Correctly identify the colors blue, red, purple, brown, black, white, green, yellow, orange and as of today, silver
• Make the sign of the cross and say the Hail Mary (give or take a phrase or two)
• Turn on the TV/VCR, open a tape case (Nemo is his current favorite), put the tape in the VCR and push PLAY
• Repeat EVERYTHING you say -- even when you don't think he's listening
• Point his fingers and do the twist, along with various other Wiggles, Blues Clues and Backyardigans choreography
• Name every animal in his Big Book of Animals and remind you if you accidentally skip a page
• Identify the following instruments: piano, drums, saxophone, trumpet, guitar and violin -- and mimic playing each one

AT 24 MONTHS, MAMA CAN:

• Fit into her pre-pregnancy jeans
• Make (and sell) a Mother's bracelet
• Sing the entire Wiggles soundtrack
• Program Tivo
• Fix a delicious batch of crock-pot chili
• Earn $1000/year selling on eBay
• Create and moderate a Mommy message board
• Nurse while walking
• Proudly admit to co-sleeping for 18 months
• Watch a Hallmark commercial without crying
• When asked, "What do you do?" reply, "I'm a stay-at-home Mom" without qualifying my answer with, "But I used to... "

I'll add more as they come to me.

Favorite Links

Bitty is STILL napping (7:05pm) so I had time to figure out how to include some of my favorite links in the sidebar. Gold star for Mama's HTML skills!

(Yeah, I know a lot of toddlers are going to bed at 7:05pm. Bitty goes to bed around 11pm... but sleeps until 11am. Works for us.)

Daddy and Bitty riding the rails at the downtown art/music festival on Saturday. 

One Year Ago

SCARY FACE at 1 year.

$131,471

Based on a 100-hour work week, Salary.com has estimated that a fair wage for the typical stay-at-home mom would be $131,471 for executing all of her daily tasks.

Jackpot! 2005 Honda Odyssey Touring with DVD Entertainment system, here I come! With money to spare for:
1) 13 years of Catholic private schooling for Bitty Man
2) Pergo flooring throughout our home
3) 2-weeks lying on a beach in Aruba
4) 24-Hour Fitness lifetime membership
5) Funding our IRA's for the next decade.

Wonder if I can get my money direct deposit?