Grandma and Pa-Pa's Sweet Revenge

Grandma and Pa-Pa arrived on Saturday for spring break. (They own a second home just down the street from Bitty Man.)

I officially apologize for anything and everything I did during my first 18 years of life that angered or upset my parents. Now quit being so darn nice to Bitty Man so he'll want to hang with Mommy and Daddy again.

Conversation on Sunday night while driving home from dinner with Grandma and Pa-Pa at the local iHop: (Bitty loves the Kids Egg sandwich plate -- minus the cheese and butter of course.)

Mamma: "Did you have fun at dinner?"
Bitty: "Grandma?... Pa-Pa?"
Daddy: "Grandma and Pa-Pa went to contribute to the local economy. We'll see them tomorrow."
Bitty: "GRANDMA HOUSE?!? PA-PA HOUSE?!?"
Mamma: "No, we're going to our house, honey."

We pull into our gated community and turn left towards our house, instead of right towards Grandma and Pa-Pa's.

Bitty: "NO!!! NO OUR HOUSE!!! GRANDMA HOUSE!!! PA-PA HOUSE!!!"

A full meltdown then occurs. Daddy and I think seriously of dropping Bitty off at Grandma and Pa-Pa's... and making a quick beeline to Puerto Vallarta for the week! Maybe next spring break. In the meantime, Grandma and Pa-Pa are having a wonderful time spoiling Bitty Man silly.

You Outta Be in Pictures

Bitty Man saw his first movie on Thursday. (It was actually the second movie he's attended. The first one was The Lord of the Rings in December, 2002 -- when Momma was 4 months pregnant. Momma spent the entire movie shielding her belly with jackets since Baby Cheese would kick like crazy every time there was a loud battle scene!) This time he saw Robots. Daddy was pre-empted by the NCAA Tournament so he had the day off. We wanted to do something fun and different so we decided to try a matinee, figuring if Bitty Man hated it we'd only be out $8. (But since Momma and Daddy had not seen a movie in a theater in over 2 years, we were really hoping for the best.)

We lucked out and had the theater TO OURSELVES. Bitty was just thrilled to get to snack on popcorn and a few sips of diet soda. Once the lights went out we nervously watched Bitty's face for any signs of anxiety. Then the first preview began, for Herbie the Love Bug remake.

I'd forgotten how LOUD a THX sound system is.

I got ready to pick up our overpriced theater food, figuring I was about to hear the wailings of one terrified little boy. But instead I heard, 'CAR!!! BIG CAR!!! FUNNY!!!' and screams... of delight.

Bitty Man thought this 'big TV' was the greatest things since the vacuum cleaner. Uncle Tony will be thrilled to learn that Bitty's favorite preview was for the new Star Wars movie. (Which he will get to see when he's about 13.) And as for the feature presentation? Bitty watched all 90 minutes and when the credits were finished rolling asked, 'MORE?!?'

Bitty has now been officially sucked into the 20th Century Fox marketing machine. I imagine the Easter Bunny will be bringing a WonderBot for Bitty's basket.

Bitty the Bird Man at the zoo. 

Get to Know Bitty Man

You know those annoying 'Questions' e-mails you get forwarded to you every few weeks? Well here's Bitty's answers:

1) What time is it? Huh? Clock! (4:50 pm)
2) Name as it appears on birth certificate: (No way, Jose. Too many internet freaks lurking.)
3) Nickname : Bitty! (Also Sweetie, Little Prince and when Mommy's mad, 'HEY! GET OVER HERE!')
4) Piercing: No skissors. Only Mamma Daddy do dit.
5) Eye color: Eyes... Blue!
6) Place of birth: (See #2)
7) Favorite food: Noo-nools (Noodles), Oat-eal (Apple oatmeal), Olive, Egg salad... yummy yummy! WIGGLES!
8) Ever been to Africa: Huh?
9) Ever been toilet papering: Yess... Mamma room! (When the bathoom door was left open.)
10) Love someone so much it made you cry: Cry. Sad.
11) Been in a car accident: No driving... bad... only Mamma Daddy do dit. (Lesson learned Monday night after he crawled into the front seat of the car and inserted the correct key in the ignition while Mommy was busy unloading groceries!)
12) Croutons or bacon bits: Num-Nums! (M&M's)
13) Favorite day of the week: Huh?
14) Favorite restaurant: Huh? (iHop and Chevy's)
15) Favorite flower: Flowers. No touch. Only Mamma Daddy do dit. (The arrangement on the table.)
16) Favorite sport to watch: Big boys baskeetball. FOOTBALL! PACHERS!
17) Favorite drink: Daddy SODA! (Diet Sprite)
18) Favorite ice cream: Ice ceem! (Rice Dream Vanilla or Sugar-free Fruit popsicles.)
19) Disney or Warner Bros: Huh? Wiggles! Elmo! Blue!
20) Favorite fast food restaurant: Elmo Cookie! (Ms. Field's Cookies)
21) What color is your bedroom carpet: Brown
22) Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail: Computer... typing... Elmo keyboard... mouse... no touch!
23) Which store would you choose to max out your credit card: Store! (Toys R Us)
24) What you do most often when you are bored: Trains, play po-cher (poker), book (reading)
25) Bed time: Bed. Sleepy. No! No bed! (10:30 pm)
26) Favorite TV shows: Wiggles, Blue, Singing (American Idol)
27) Last person you went out to dinner with: Mamma Daddy!
28) What are you listening to right now: Birdies... chirp-chirp!
29) What is your favorite color: Blue!
30) Lake, river or ocean: Water? Bath! Wash hands!
31) How many tattoos do you have: Huh? (Does a Gymboree hand stamp count?)
32) Have you ever run out of gas: Gas? Driving! Car! Nooo driving. (Every day around 3:00 pm and 10:30 pm.)
33) Time you finished this e-mail: Clock? (4:59 pm.)

Poor little guy. I didn't realize how much of his life is 'No! Only Mommy and Daddy do it!'

A Good Week to Visit Bitty Man

Five-day Forecast
Today: 72°/52° Sunny
Tuesday: 75°/54° Sunny
Wednesday: 80°/52° Sunny
Thursday: 81°/53° Sunny
Friday: 77°/56° Sunny

(I can hear the collective groans all the way from WI, NY and VA.) And if you can't some visit Bitty, well, he sends you warm thoughts!

Big Man & Bitty Man 

Two Cheese in a pod. 

Little Orphan Bitty?

Bitty Man has been enjoying Gymboree Half-Notes music classes for several months now. He took to the class like a cheesehead to a Packers game. Bitty is, in the words of his beloved teacher Miss Kim, 'a model student'. For 45 minutes he's engrossed in all the activities -- dancing with hoops, copying rhythm patterns with the shakers, exploring different musical instruments and the like. (Meanwhile most of the other 18-24 month old students are more interested in trying to escape from the music room.)

Yesterday Daddy had the pleasure of attending class with us. He beamed with pride watching his little protege in action. Miss Kim put on a song that began with a piano solo and Bitty immediately called out, 'Daddy! Pia-blo! (Piano in Bitty-speak.) Daddy singing!'

But the most amazing sight, and sound, came during the last activity of the class, the music free-for-all. Miss Kim puts on a song and the kids are supposed to do whatever they like while she blows bubbles. This month the theme is 'Broadway' so the song was 'Tomorrow' from the musical Annie. As everyone knows, this is without a doubt the most grating, annoying tune ever composed for the theater. So the tune begins and we begin to dance around, silently wishing the song would hurry up and end.

Until the chorus.

Bitty Man is very shy in a group setting. We can't shut him up at home, but as soon as other people are around he clams up. So Daddy and I, along with the rest of the class, were startled when all of a sudden we heard Bitty Man singing loud and clear (and on pitch I might add),

'TOMORROW!... TOMORROW!... LOVE!... TOMORROW... WAY!!!!'

He was standing in the middle of the room, belting it out for all to hear. He held out 'WAY' for a good 8 counts. Daddy and I, who have heard him 'sing' at home and in the car for months, were cracking up (and shaking our heads in disbelief that we've produced such a cheesy little ham). The other parents and Miss Kim stared at Bitty Man with wide-eyes and dropped jaws.

So now, 'Tomorrow' has replaced the Wiggles' 'Fruit Salad' as Bitty's favorite tune. And for today, it's my favorite song as well.

Wiggles Update

Yes, we have tickets to the Wiggles LIVE show on April 6 -- thanks to Daddy standing in line for over an hour with the 'sweatpants natzi's' as he calls them. We did not get the coveted 'Hot Potato' floor seats as they sold out immediately, but Daddy said we are better off since if the 'sweatpants natzi's' behavior while in line is any indication, their children will all be really uptight, angry little toddlers.

So far, Bitty Man is still in full Wiggles mode. He actually has no interest in watching anything else. Elmo? Fine to cuddle, forget the show. Blue's Clues? No way. Veggie Tales? Entertaining for a few minutes but then he's back to asking for the 'Wa-Wagles'.

I can't wait to see the expression on his face when he sees them LIVE!

It's All A Numbers Game

For as long as Bitty Man has been walking down the stairs (with Mommy & Daddy's help of course), he's listened to us count the 15 stairs as we descend. It's part of our daily routine. So we were excited when a few weeks ago, Bitty mastered counting to two -- and if there were more than two items, he would just start over at one and count to two again.

That is, until Thursday night.

Daddy had played the Lena Prima gig at the Sahara and didn't get home until 10:30pm. Bitty Man was, of course, still up. (Hey, the kid has musicians for parents -- he's a night owl.) Daddy was leaving for a jazz festival in CA the next morning, so the three of us were hanging out in the bedroom as Daddy packed. Daddy and I were having a pretty deep discussion when Bitty started counting. I didn't really pay attention until I heard 'three' -- Bitty had never counted to three before. I looked at Daddy with wide eyes and we both got silent.

"Four... five... six... seven... eight... nine... ten... leven... twelve... tirteen... fourteen... fivteen... STAIRS!!!" Bitty declared.

Daddy and I started carrying on like the kid had solved a quadratic equation. I had tears in my eyes. When did my baby become a learned scholar?

Another picture of J and Bitty Man. (Anyone interested in representing these two cuties as child models, please e-mail -- we've got colleges to pay for!)

We hope to use this picture at their wedding reception... Bitty Man and his friend J.

Praying in the Words of Bitty

'Ail Mary
Grace
Lord wit Thee
Blesses... dow... women
Blesses... FRUIT!... JESUS!
Holey Mary
Mommy God
Pray... DINNER NOW!
Hour... debt
AMEN!!!

Still, I think his prayers are much more powerful than mine!

So Mommy took him to 'Cool Cuts for Kidz' for a new do! (And his first professional haircut.) 

Bitty Man just couldn't do a thing with his hair... 

You Know You're Parents When...

It's Saturday morning, and Daddy has been in line at the UNLV Ticketmaster for 45 minutes already, waiting to buy tickets to "The Wiggles LIVE!" while I listen to busy signals on the 1-800-buyoverpricedchildrensconcerttickets line and watch the www.buyoverpricedchildrensconcerttickets.com website give me 'Server Busy' messages.

And with our luck, Bitty Man will be out of the 'Wiggles' phase by the time the April 6 concert rolls around!

My Funny Valentine 

Bitty Man has joined the Texas Hold 'em Poker craze! (Before anyone calls CPS, it's a great way to learn colors, counting and numbers... and add to his college fund!) 

I'll Take Stupid Comments for $1000, Alex

Please choose the correct response for the following statement:

"Wow... C looks exactly like his Daddy -- and nothing like you."

A) Well, he is mine. Would you like to see my c-section scar?
B) *silence*
C) Yes, he sure is a chip off the old Wisconsin cheese block.

I get this comment weekly... daily sometimes. Now yes, it's pretty obvious that Bitty Man is a mini-Daddy. Blonde hair, blue eyes -- I still have to think through my 10th grade AP biology class genetics lesson to figure out how this is possible. (For the record, my brother has blue eyes so both my parents have the recessive blue gene and I must have gotten one of them.) And I know most people are just trying to make conversation. But it really is kinda annoying.

So if you're a fan of the Adventures of Bitty Man, please, PLEASE, don't remind me of the obvious.

And the correct answer? Depends on what kind of day I'm having. I've used them all. (Yep, even answer A. A very rude stranger did not believe that Bitty Man was my biological son, and remarked that I shouldn't be ashamed for having adopted a child. Seriously.)

Bitty Man playing Elmo Keyboard-O-Rama. (Like Mother like son!)