For your entertainment pleasure: Dave Barry's Year in Review. Don't have time to read the entire piece because you have big New Year's plans? (Well, aren't you special...) The highlights:
February. . . when South Florida hosts Super Bowl Roman Numeral. Because of concern over terrorism, security is extremely tight, particularly outside South Beach nightclubs, where large bouncers refuse to let any terrorists inside unless they are really hot. After what feels like three months of pregame festivities, an actual game is played, pitting the Chicago Bears against the Indianapolis Peyton Mannings. What begins as a close contest is broken wide open in the third quarter when the Bears defense is unable to stop a 1993 Buick LeSabre driven by 87-year-old North Miami Beach resident Winifred Bingleman, who took a wrong turn on her way to mah-jongg. She is immediately signed by the Miami Dolphins.
But the biggest story in June, as well as the history of the universe, is the release of the Apple iPhone, which, in addition to enabling you to make phone calls, has all kinds of brilliant and innovative features, including AutoFondle, an application that enables the iPhone to fondle itself during those times when you are unable to fondle it manually because you're sleeping or undergoing surgery from wounds you sustained when friends or co-workers finally lost it and beat you senseless to make you shut up about your freaking iPhone already.
September... In Las Vegas, O.J. Simpson, an ordinary citizen minding his own business and exercising his basic constitutional right to retrieve sports memorabilia from somebody else's hotel room with the aid of armed thugs, somehow runs afoul of the law. He insists he is innocent, but winds up facing trial on robbery and kidnapping charges that could send him to jail for a life term, after which he will undoubtedly be signed by the Miami Dolphins.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Happy New Year's Eve!
Posted by Vicki aka Diva Mom at 11:27 PM
Thursday, December 27, 2007
You'll Shoot Your Eye Out!
Why the TBS 24-hour marathon of A Christmas Story could be construed as a near occasion of sin:
Bittyman's favorite phrase is now, "I double dog dare ya!"
Bittyman can not eat mashed potatoes without making piggy noises.
And of course, Bittyman now wants an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle.
All of which are driving Diva Mom over the edge and farther into the container of Christmas Crack.
(Thanks, Grandmai, for the better post title!)
Posted by Vicki aka Diva Mom at 4:23 PM
Labels: Bad Parenting 0 comments
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
Christmas Meme
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? A bit of both, depending on the awkwardity of the present size. (Yes, I know that's not a real word. It should be.)
2. Real or artificial tree? Love real. Miss real. But learned the hard way our second Christmas in the desert that spending $75 for a real tree is no guarantee it will not become tinder within a week. Had to take said tree down Christmas night before it spontaneously combusted. Bought an artificial the next day and have been using it ever since.
4. When do you take the tree down? No sooner than the Epiphany.
5. Do you like egg nog? Hell no. Seriously. That's just disgusting.
6. Favorite gift received as a child? The dollhouse my father built.
7. Do you have a Nativity scene? Yes. A collection from Fontanini which we add to every year and a Little People Nativity for the boys to play with.
8. Hardest person to buy for? My husband and my father. They receive lots of Packers and Bills stuff for lack of other ideas.
9. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Maybe not worst, but funniest. When we were first married Dan went into Lane Bryant looking to buy me some sweaters for Christmas. Dan had no idea Lane Bryant was a plus-size woman's store. He asked the saleswoman, "My wife is 5'7" and weighs 120 pounds - what size would she wear?" Said saleswoman proceeded to sell him several sweaters in size 16/18.
When I returned the sweaters the day after Christmas I called the saleswoman on the carpet for trying to make a quick sale to an unsuspecting husband when she should have pointed him next door to The Limited.
(Explanation for the men who are reading this going, 'huh'? Any woman on the planet could tell you that a 5'7', 120-pound female wears a size 6. Saleslady totally punked Dan. And no, I'm not 120 lbs. anymore. But I am psyched to be at pre-Bittyman weight. Good enough for Diva Mom.)
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? This year I'm doing a web card... if I can find time to finish it today.
11. Favorite Christmas movie? A Christmas Story and It's a Wonderful Life. (Yeah, that's two movies. So? It's my meme.)
12. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Early fall I start keeping my eye out for good deals.
13. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? I plead the 5th.
14. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Peppermint Mochas and Christmas Crack.
15. Clear lights or colored lights on the tree? Clear.
16. Favorite Christmas song? Sacred, O Holy Night. Secular, Mary Did You Know.
17. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home. Thanksgiving is for traveling.
18. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? I've been a professional Christmas Caroler for 11 years. I'll sing them to you.
19. Angel on the tree top or a star? Star.
20. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? One Christmas Eve after Mass. The majority Christmas morning. Grandma & Grandpa I's gifts when they arrive on January 5.
21. Most annoying thing about this time of year? The overused, politically correct phrase, 'Happy Holidays'.
I tag anyone who is so ready for Christmas that they have time to read this meme! (Me, I'm just procrastinating. Cleaning, wrapping, and website-creating all await me.)
Posted by Vicki aka Diva Mom at 9:29 AM
Labels: Memes 0 comments
We Are Blessed
To the anonymous Angel(s) who sent us the very generous Costco gift card, thank you. We will be lighting a candle for you at Mass tonight. Merry Christmas!
Posted by Vicki aka Diva Mom at 9:26 AM
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Foto Friday
Sorry blogging has been light during Advent. But between working as a professional Christmas Caroler:
Shuttling to rehearsals and performance of our parish's Christmas Pageant:
And all the Christmas festivities:
We're all ready to settle down for a long winter's nap:
Posted by Vicki aka Diva Mom at 10:09 PM
Labels: Foto Friday 1 comments
The Gospel According to Yoda
Bittyman: "Mom, you're a great Mommy!"
Diva Mom: "Awww, thanks, Bitty. I try."
Bittyman: "You don't try, Mom, you do!"
Posted by Vicki aka Diva Mom at 1:09 AM
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
12 Days Worth Listening To
(Thanks to Rachel at Testosterhome!)
Posted by Vicki aka Diva Mom at 4:36 PM
Monday, December 17, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Black and Blue Christmas
Dear Grandparents, Great Aunt, Aunts & Uncles and Godparents,
Please accept this I.O.U. for one professional picture of the boys as their Christmas gift to you. The photo will not arrive by the 25th of December.
In the meantime, enjoy this picture of Bittyman and the shiner he received when his head collided with the bed frame two days before our scheduled appointment at Kiddie Kandids. (The picture does not do justice to the injury in spite of Bitty's 'tough guy' face.)
Blessings this Christmas Season,
Vicki
Posted by Vicki aka Diva Mom at 10:43 AM
Monday, December 10, 2007
Menu Plan Monday
Monday: Chicken & Cheese Quesadillas
Tuesday: Italian Sausage Subs, Caprese Salad
Wednesday: Pizza
Thursday: Bruschetta Chicken Bake
Friday: Pasta and Bean Skillet
It was a crazy busy weekend for me and I only had menus planned through Wednesday. A big thanks to Sharon at The Bird's Nest - I'm borrowing two of your recipes to round out my week!
If you're looking for menu ideas there are at last count 157 other Menu Plan Monday participants at I'm an Organizing Junkie!
Posted by Vicki aka Diva Mom at 5:06 PM
Labels: Menu Planning 0 comments
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Happy Feast of St. Nicholas!
Nicholas was a priest, an abbot, and a bishop of Myra. Once, he helped a poor family by dropping bags of gold coins in a window, landing in a stocking hung up to dry. Thus, the story of Santa Claus was born. He was known for his holiness, zeal, and astonishing miracles–even raising people from the dead.
Posted by Vicki aka Diva Mom at 12:23 PM
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Menu Plan Monday
Monday: Crock Pot Saucy Cheeseburger Sandwiches, Green Beans
Tuesday: Broccoli Fettuccine Chicken
Wednesday: Leftover Buffet
Thursday (St. Nicholas Day): Pancakes, Sausages, Home Fries
Friday: Pizza, Veggies & Dip
Last week's Italian Sausage Egg Bake was a huge hit... with the adults. Not so much with Bittyman. I'll just stick with pancakes for Christmas morning! Speaking of pancakes, this Thursday is the Feast of St. Nicholas and by coincidence Daddy is off. So after opening our stockings, we'll enjoy a hearty leisurely breakfast. That evening we'll be touring an outdoor festival of lights so dinner will probably be of the drive-thru variety afterwards!
Posted by Vicki aka Diva Mom at 9:40 PM
Labels: Menu Planning 3 comments
Saturday, December 01, 2007
First Sunday of Advent
If you need a break from perusing those sales fliers in the Sunday paper:
Watching and Waiting by Danielle Bean.
The True Meaning of Advent by The Curt Jester. (He also created the Advent wreath graphic above - thanks, Jeff!)
St. Rita Parish Weekly Builletin. Scroll down to the bottom for the article written by the Parochial Vicar of St. Rita, Fr. Paul Scalia. (Scalia - sound familiar? As in the son of Supreme Court Justice Scalia.) Fr. Scalia is the consultant priest to a Catholic Mom's message board I belong to and he serves in the Diocese of Arlington where I grew up.
A Catholic Life: Advent and Christmas Compilation. Matthew has stopped blogging since entering the Seminary, but A Catholic Life continues to be one of my favorite reference blogs.
Posted by Vicki aka Diva Mom at 10:53 PM